just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
she calls it her "sourpuss" because everyone makes that face when they see it.
I'm stoned and have been watching so many cartoons that I changed the channel and real people were on, and it scared me
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I have a huge bruise on my thigh that I am 95% sure is due to you repeatedly throwing me over couches.
Whatever dude, just dont tell her your first impression was she looked like your cousin. no judgement here. just sayin.
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
I just ordered a "football meatlong" from subway
I bet you there is porn for people who get off on someone rubbing Chipotle on themselves
There's no sexy way to moan the name Ernest. Or Ernie. This relationship is fucked
It’s gonna be hard being interviewed by this girl without remembering the time she showed me her nipple piercings at Dylan’s party
Sorry I had sex in your backseat while everyone was in the car
It's quite alright. I found his shorts in my backseat, not sure what he was wearing when we dropped him off
Video on mandys page of you drinking upside down was finally put up...too bad all the comments were about me and him fighting in the background while he screamed "BLOW BIG BETSY!'
I need a significant other who'll eat Skittles from my boobs
Randomize
