It was just pointed out to me in a meeting that there is a lipstick stain on my crotch.
Turns out he's not gay. He just didn't know how else to say he's not into me. He just hit on my sister.
yeah. and then it was like the room of requirement. the elevator just opened for our threesome.
so i definitely just saw 2 cops high five each other as they were arresting underage drinkers in 5 points.
I think the best way to start out any day is to watch 80's music videos. It's like visual wheaties.
i think the date started going downhill when i mentioned how many therapists i have
I will now attempt to shave my public hair into a Christmas tree.
Lost gin update. Blackout me found and re-hid the bottle. Left a note to myself saying, "GOOD LUCK, SUCKER!"
By the way, I got bored last night and just started putting my balls on every object in your room. One at a time.
I chugged a beer while I was riding him and he told me it was the sexiest thing he has ever seen. this guy knows class when he sees it.
So this whole chlamydia situation totally puts a damper on my back to school sex schedule, there's just no way of knowing who of them was the perpetrator... Time for new candidates
I threw up outside of a cab while waiting in a drive thru Mexican line while others who i don't know watched from their cars while they ate. Dinner and a show.
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
worse hangover than the time you almost threw up in a plant in front of your daycare kids?
...I don't remember telling you about that but yes
All I wanted was a good weekend full of booze, laughs, and maybe some penis. Instead, someone is in the hospital, I didn't sleep at all last night. And not because I got laid.
Randomize
