if you like me you must not know who I am
Assholes at mcdonalds drive through wouldn't serve us last night even though we said we were on small motorcycles that were to small for them to see and weren't heavy enough for the sensors. We made noises and everything.
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Elton John & Lady Gaga just did a duet on the Grammies. How appropriate. He likes cock & she happens to have one.
She made me cum so hard I couldn't hear for half an hour after
You probably don't remember. You were drunk and getting your tits drummed on like haitian bongos in a voodoo ritual.
we cut her off and put her in bed but by the time we got back to the drinks she was already there shirtless. she's the topless tequila ninja
I invented the best game. It's called "what touched my exposed nutsack?" It can range from pillows to toothbrushes
My jeans are ripped and her glitter was all over me.. My walk of shame looked like I fucked a unicorn last night
I'm wearing a suit and have no chance of getting laid or robing a casino. I consider this opportunity a failure
I left my panties in the microwave for too long and they caught on fire
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Like when your most normal sex dream is you being a prostitute, you know it's been one long ass dry spell.
When I woke up this morning I swear my mouth tasted like dick and rolaids.
can you take a pic of your glorious tits but not send it just yet? I need motivation to finish this bull shit presentation.
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