dude, the reading rainbow guy was just talking to a HOLOGRAM
Are you sure you're not watching Star Trek?
wait... oh
The guy I fucked last night is well worth up the ass tuition. I just wish I could tell dad thanks!
Gave a homeless guy 3 bucks earlier. Just saw him at the bar. He bought one beer and left. Happy to see my 3 dollars was well spent
She took a picture of me when she thought I was sleeping. I don't know whether to be amused or scared.
We made a bong out of a plastic football. I can honestly say we make a good team.
The only monogamous relationship I can keep is with my eyebrow lady...
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
Every time I'm hungover I just want to watch Harry Potter and cry.
OH GOOD GOD THE BUFFALO WING SAUCE IS BURNING MY FUCKING CUNT. WHY THE FUCK DID I AGREE TO SPICY AND NOT MILD
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
you tried to strip tease your way into canada but got arrested instead. don't worry, your mom doesn't know.
I had to remind him last night as he had his arm around me, "We hook up, we don't cuddle!"
Just saw you run by my class yelling "fuck you!". Good luck and stay human!
fucked one of the teachers, librarian job's going great
2020 sucks, I want a refund
Randomize
