a girl in my class is on a twilight fan site and running her fingers on the screen as edwards body comes up.
the pizza man had no reaction when jackie and me opened the door naked, i guess he's used to that shit
I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
I love how my cats smell like pot.
either she was really happy we won flip cup, or she was too drunk to notice her boyfriend behind her.
Can you do me a favor and fuck someone with a car so I can get a ride home?
apparently he thought telling me 'the weasel wants to come out to play' would somehow convince me to go down on him
I demand visitation hours with the duck.
I asked if I could borrow some condoms. She referred to herself as "a soup kitchen for whores".
Did you know there is a guy on the porch, wrapped in your snuggie, singing no woman no cry and drinking wine coolers?
Today is a wonderful day to be mildly hungover
Fine line between drunken accidental sleepover with your best friend's lab partner and gay sexathon. I did a cartwheel over that line. A CARTWHEEL THAT LANDED IN HIS LAP
"he sent me a picture of a puppy in return for a picture of my boobs. He then captioned it with "look it's puppies first time at the beach". "
You thought her boot was a stray dog in your house..
I do very much feel like vomiting. and I have no idea where that lighter came from. thank you for coming to my TED Talk.
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