White boys cant dance....we did an empirical study
the only difference between me and a prostitute was that i complained a lot more.
For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
How many folks do you know who bring coke to a dinner party. Seriously.
I feel like my lungs want to punch me in the vagina.
is that even a sentence?
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
I'm not making any promises. But if I start throwing food at you, just go with it.
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
I really really need to have and out of body experience just so I can talk to myself about this shit that I'm doing with my life.
HIS NAME IN MY PHONE IS JOSHUA DREAMCHASER I CAN NOT
NO SHAME NOVEMBER
He sent me a pic stitch collage of all the tit pics I had sexted him this month. It was so sweet!
I can make a sex schedule on Excel and send it to you guys
HE FINALLY TEXT ME AND CALLED ME BY MY TWITTER NAME STAND BY FOR THE WEDDING INVITE, BRIDESMAID
Hey Cat, it's Michael. You made out with me for a hot dog last night and I feel super used.
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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