worst morning ever. completed my walk of shame home to find my parents, grandma, and priest had come down to surprise me on my birthday. now i'm in the car with them to go get my car from the bar.
dude you apologized to her after she called you stupid. you were like "no i'm sorry, you shouldn't have to be around stupid people, it's my fault"
i'm watching the tyra show: "women who beat up their boyfriends" - lets see how she can make THIS one all about herself too.
so my class lasted 15 minutes this morning because this kid puked all over himself..only at radford
I'm sitting next to a ginger. She is decked out in olive green. Gingers fucking love olive green.
I don't know how I'm going to know it's her, I only know what she looks like with a wig on
SHE COULD ALREADY BE HERE AND I WOULDN'T EVEN KNOW
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
You forgot the part where I played Slip and Slide with my own puke and fucked up my knee.
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I didn't rip your fishnets, WE ripped your fishnets.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
just walked passed a black light...apparently he DID cum.
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You don't make any sense
TEQUILA
i think i puked but i couldve been a dream and i may have madeout with a 20 something guy infront of my managers...also possible dream.
Randomize
