Lauren will drop me off I'll be drunk ride you for a little bit and then you can go to sleep
sorry. that wasn't for you
Just wanted to make sure that my favorite hot mess is still alive. I dont need words, just a response of any sort. K hope youre living
bhystjhitsjhtiajielrfrhaug
This is sufficient.
Pillow talk just revealed that he originally thought I was 16.
Definately laid on the floor of the shower this morning drinking the water as it fell on me.
Just found bud in my hair....gotta love curls
Is percocet and coffee considered a balanced breakfast?
If a cougar buys you pizza and wants to show you her newly-won house, you have sex with her. It's the law. Just being all the man I can be dude
I enjoy the level of friendship we have achieved until you ask me to determine what may or may not be gentile warts via iphone pic
I swear to god if you keep eating my cats food drunk I am going to kick you out of our apartment.
I had a meltdown and you quoted Puddle of Mudd to me
Just saw the cop you hooked up with over break. He’s def hotter in uniform.
Tell him to stop shaving his pubes. #Notmyjam
This is very awkward but where is my dildo, Mom
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
I woke up using a beer can as a pillow. successful party?
What should I list for life skills
How about home wrecking? You’re excellent at that
Hmm...that is a life skill in Southern California
Randomize
