i don't plan on having that self control this summer
You don't have to be emotionally available for a blow job.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
He showed me a four inch blond hair that grows out of his side. He calls it his little ray of sunshine. Please come get me.
I'd love to come and give you a massage, but we already duck taped my keys to the ceiling...
dude stop sending me pictures of your dick in weird places. i get it. you rock out with your cock out.
It would be one hovered percent delicioui
Just rescued a super cute pair of Gucci heels off the sorority lawn on my way to work. Things are worth two paychecks. Fuck trust fund kids.
My liver was like a college freshman on spring break. It would've danced topless on tables if it could have.
Exactly. Motivated vaginas are the best kind of vagina
when I went into his room, he was sleeping on his stomach, almost as if to silently say, "you're not touching my dick tonight".
I just spent 12 consecutive hours in the same outfit and none of it was pajamas. If that's not personal growth, I don't know what is.
if i seriously got my dick up last night, then im taking him to disney world cause thats just fuckin impressive
Sorry you ended up in detox. It's not my fault you decided to walk downtown in only your underwater at 3am. I think the tequila took over.
True college students do jello shots in the library
Randomize
