He couldn't say anything coherently but shot off a perfectly timed "that's what she said" when michelle said he'd have to ride in the trunk because she didn't have enough room up front.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
Who faxed a picture of their penis to the office printer?!
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
I can coach you back to consumption. Think of it kinda like Rocky II.
pain. pain everywhere. this is why throwing yourself at concrete is a bad idea.
Tequila pump. I'm ecstatic your engineering degree has real world application.
Please don't make me ever have to hear the words "the Queen's gynecologist" ever again.
I did not appreciate your texts about spanking at 3'o'clock this morning.
yeah...well...life isn't all puppies & lap dances
I'm tempted to randomly yell out 'SO HOW IS YOUR UNDERAGE GIRLFRIEND' but that would be callous
Seriously. All I want right now is a 40 with a nipple on it, and a nap
Her name was Danica but I felt like it would be hard to say drunk so I called her Shelby
I seriously feel like I just crawled out from under a shit covered rock. I'm NEVER drinking like that again...well, not for alteast a solid 3 hours.
Guess who won a basket of sex toys in front of his parents, aunts, uncles, sister, and cousin...
Randomize
