oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
Just saw a white stretch Hummer limo outside of CiCi's pizza. Way to live up to the stereotypes, Alabama.
How do you get eyebrow wax out of your butthole region?
The fact that you aren't ashamed to ask that is the reason I will give you the answer. Under the sink there is a bottle of wax remover. Throw my waxing kit away as well.
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
Where the hell is he. I called him crying for weed and sex you would think that would signal some urgency.
Speaking of gay, some dude in a life vest just goes, we should pull our dicks out! To larry. Were leaving now. I saw penis
I'm taking tokes in the bath tub, come if you want, I'm naked and you have to bring chicken nuggets or else you can't come in
okcupid is pretty much insisting i hook up with this chick who looks like andy milonakis.
You know your night is done when the police confiscate your bra at high school basketball game
Moral of the story - don't craft naked. Your nipples with thank me.
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
Randomize
