i fucked some guy last night. i called him nick jonas by mistake. i'm 24.
shes the kind of girl i dont like to talk to unless my penis is in her mouth.
I though she ruined it by crying, then I realized it wasn’t a tear, it was my great aim. It turned out to be beautiful.
all the sharp corners in my house are covered with litter foam blocks. al set for partying
he pulled a hernia and i had to get the morning after pill. you tell me how our valentines day went.
The bar I'm at just passed out smores to everyone. I don't know what it has to do with cinco de mayo but I'm down.
I feel like I'm a marionette being lifted around. Four Loko.
I'm sure that's not what the inventers of the Turkey baster had in mind, but that's what I had in mine.
Did we fight the bathroom girl ? She just wanted to give us lotion and condoms.
She was lying on the table chugging back something when the table broke
She kept going
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
He seems like a lot more than a waste of tequila
That's why god made go-pro's and tequila
Oh man. I am high, watching The Office and getting pancakes. What a country.
Such a shame we didn't work out. We would've been a power couple producing NFL linemen :/
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