Plan B is the new Plan A
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
when I woke up I found a half-eaten cherry toaster strudel sandwich with bacon in the middle.
Her parties are sponsored by Valtrex. This might not be your best idea.
Man, i was looking at the pictures i took last night in one i was on the Kentucky line fist pumping with a hobo..wth happened?
He talks to me in this sweet I know you might be pregnant voice.
he needs to hurry and make his mind up... i mean i can't keep getting peed on by a guy who isn't even my boyfriend
Normally I would go for him, but there's just way too much vodka under the bridge for that
I just want a pillowcase full of fast food so I can eat and sleep this hangover away
We got kicked out of Walmart for playing cod with squirt guns of course it was better then prom.
I'm wearing a dinosaur hat bikini cone bra over my shirt. So good things are happening
I just walked out topless, stared his brother straight in the eye, and ate all the rest of their cookie dough.
I stopped telling people I'm a pansexual unless they ask first, really tired of explaining what that means.
ATTENTION: just found out of have strep. if we have had sex in the past week, might wanna go to the doctor. if you plan to have sex with me in the next 20 days go buy some condoms. stupid antibiotics.
Randomize
