im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
he told us the story of how he fought ketchup, mustard, and thomas the train engine all in one night. if that doesn't sound like an acid trip i dont know what does.
Can you imagine it being physically possible any other way unless the cows are unnaturally flexible
You broke out your mechano set and told us you were gonna "build us a beer machine" and 5 min later you were fast asleep
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
Apparently it costs $70 to clean vomit off the side of our apartment building.
just when i thought i had forgotten how badthe sex was he comes across campus solely to say hi
Update: I only have one shoe. The other one now belongs to the gods of jello-wrestling. May it rest in peace.
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
got one for peeing in public....called the cop a donut dunking communist...should be a fun court appearance
I can't. I drank 10 years off my life last night. I need to reevaluate. Sorry.
Just specific performance'd my way into her pants. I literally said specific performance and that shit worked. Thanks B. Law!
Dude I asked him to get me beef jerky at 4 am and he actually walked to CVS to get it. CVS closes at 12 but it was the perfect opp to dip out
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
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