Anything that's based on a blow job I'm in favor of.
and i do it all in one night. I'm like santa but a whore.
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
Its name is Richard. And I think he formally introduced us.
We don't have a ruler. Come downstairs and lay in the snow with a boner so we can see how much snow we've gotten. Put your 8 inches to a less shameful use.
get over here now. the boys are doing shots of everclear, chasing with monster, and some dude jsut walked in with a backpack full of tattoo gear.
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
why is there a broken handcuff locked to the ceiling fan
Nothing says "Good Morning" like Jell-o shots and coffee cakes.
The two girls sitting next to me are asking siri "Like, uh, how do you know my name?". Do I fuck with them or fuck them?
N I'm drinking this invention I call "do-it-fluid" I had a bottle of vodka that was 3/4th empty, so I put in 1/4th rum, 1/4th tequila, 1/4th whisky... it's definitely the worst idea ever..
She had a tattoo on her pelvis that said "it's cock-o-clock" an had clocks and hot dogs exploding away from it. I'd like to tell you it was deal breaker buuuuuuut.......
WAIT this kid is eating yogurt with a fucking ladle. what is happening?
Family acid trip. They're welcoming me into the family.
What. The. Fuck.
Family acid trip.
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