Its about time the women of america have a president they can masturbate to again
so i did it. i barked while i was ejaculating. not a word was said by either of us afterwards.
so how much did i say i owed you?
$5 and a new fuck buddy.
you washed your face with toilet water last night.. i tried to stop you but you wouldn't have it.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Explain to me how it was that you spent the entire night playing pool with three lesbians and did not get a foursome out of it.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
we need to find an occasion to wear tutus
I have just disproved the common belief that it is impossible to have mediocre sex in a fire truck.
The fire in my vagina flames on. Fucking terrible firefighter
When did our fuck buddy relationship, turn into me babysitting his dog?
I am the kind of drunk to where i can still drive a golf cart
Neighbour is sobbing. Difficult to masturbate.
It's ok, I did squats with my bottle of wine before I opened it. That counts as the gym since I won't be getting there haha
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
It’s like my vagina just knows when a man is a barrel-chested freedom fighter.
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