so i completely puked my brains out. a lot. he held me up so i could brush my teeth. then we proceeded to hook up for the next four hours.
he's a keeper
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
She finally woke up and said, "Me- nothing, potato peeler- 1." And rolled back over.
She was giving me a handjob while I was wearing a sombrero with a beer in one hand and a hammer in the other.
i offered her breakfast shots. she politely declined.
the story is to long to tell you via txt so when you notice the tattoo on your ass call me.
Picture this: me driving down 183 throwing up into a towel. I just hit rock bottom.
I realised my life had gone downhill since being unemployed when I was making key lime pie on acid at 3am Tuesday morning.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
remind to leave next time the words "tequila" and "challenge" are shouted
You handed me a red solo cup filled with vodka and Bacon. You called it the salty Russian.
my dad is now demonstrating how to start a fire with a tampon. happy fucking new year!
Drugs are gluten free tho, right?
One minute we're singing Wagon Wheel, and the next you're belly dancing in a trash bag on the beer pong table
HILY FUCK HES HERE I HAVE MONISTAT IN ME HE SUPRISED ME
Randomize
