By the way, I think my next facebook status update will read, "Aaron recently found out Vanessa's a screamer."
oh god.
And now we have yet another reason to never travel to Detroit
he woke me up at 3 am to ask me where my plunger, a towel, and staples were. i'm afraid to go into my bathroom.
Karaoke into a bottle of boones. dear summer in alabama, glad to see you again.
No you can't have a vodka redbull. The pilgrims didn't have vodka redbull.
Despite what happened tonight, Im still expecting Jesus birthday sex
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
I can hear my parents having sex. I REPEAT. I CAN HEAR MY PARENTS HAVING SEX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL!
Your mom is 55 and has MS. To be honest, I'm proud of her, and you should be too, bitch.
Dave got tied up again. I'm done breaking into girls houses to cut him loose. At least before noon.
She tried to beat him up using a half gallon of Bacardi, instead she got tangled in Kayla's hanging bra and broke a lamp. She can party with us anytime.
"I'm gonna wax that ass" was the successful pick up line used on me last night. Clearly I had a few too many cause it worked..
Some people dream of being astronauts others dream of having genitalia that shines like Edward Cullen in the sun
when u match a guy bc he's from Oregon & he's trying to flirt, shut up i just want to talk about trees
you have 30 seconds to convince me not to grab this guy's crotch in front of his girlfriend
I feel like he doesn't realize we're offering him a threeway with sisters and I don't understand how that's possible.
Maybe we should bring mom next time.
Randomize
