My wife all of the sudden got markedly better at giving blow jobs. Should I be happy or concerned?
i an so hammered right now. I'm about to pass out but i just found the lion king dvd and i'm so happy words don't even describe.
I'm gonna name my first kid mufasa regardless if It's a boy or girl
Are we still dressing up as garden gnomes for halloween?
No. I would like to get laid again before I graduate.
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
when i was alone, his dick was there for me...
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
I woke up this morning with a wristband and I thought I went to the hospital last night I actually went ice skating instead
I'm standing at the bottom of the driveway w a sign that says plow me
Gays age differently than straights. 29 is like 45 in gay years. Next year I'll be in adult diapers and applying for medicaid.
I could definitely fill a shot glass w my cum
please don't
My fridge door just caught on fire somehow.
I'm super disappointed in my clit.
He asked me to fly out to Seattle to participate in a week of marathon sex so I'm at the airport now. I'll call you when I get back.
This was the first funeral I've ever attended where I had to pee behind a bush cuz someone was passed-out drunk in the locked bathroom. Steve would have been proud.
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
