I woke up this morning with I hate myself feeling
I have my period so I felt bad and blew him with cash cab in the background. I wanted to yell out the answers but my mouth was full.
Honey, If i waited till marriage I wouldnt know what a dick tasted like.
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
In the middle of blowin me she stoppped and told me how easy it would be to insert a catheter ..... Apparently she was a nursing major
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
My right boob is officially about a handful while my left is 1 and 3/4 handfuls. I'm staring at the mirror falling into a deep depression.
I feel like I'm sitting in a sleigh of puddy. It's not a bathtub though because you need a sleigh to go down a mountain.
The mystery gender stripper never showed up with that party burrito last night.
I cannot believe he got soft mid fuck. I just hope he bought that horrible impression you did of my dad. I love you though, you came in clutch tonight.
It was the least I could do after throwing up in your purse.
My god this is going to ruin whatever Vegas left of our souls...
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
I texted him "my vagina is pounding for you"
I know, you made me proof read it.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
oh what is to come when my single life starts with a threesome?
Randomize
