im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
We took up a collection and paid her $50 to eat a piece of meat. Vegetarian morals trumped once again by cash.
its barely noon and he already threw up and i have second degree burn
I am watching the CFL at a Hooters in Texarakana. I made a poor life choice at some point that led me here.
There are not enough shots in the world for this. We walked in and they shouted "the pilgrims are here!" And then someone handed me a turkey leg the size of my arm.
ive got a scarf tied around my face holding bags of hashbrowns to it, im too boss to care
I believe I convinced two girls to makeout for freedom last night Hahaha
I will suppress my appetite by doing shots then passing out
Send me another check for the tickets. I scratched out "anal wax" and now the bank won't take it.
Please, by all means, tell me what can't be helped by two stiff drinks & a blowjob?
I know this is a weird question but we both had pants on when my mom woke us up last night right?
I had forgotten what new underwear feels like. It's as if angels descended from heaven for the sole purpose of supporting my junk.
Do normal couples celebrate occasions naked with Chicken McNuggets and BBQ sauce?
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I can always count on you to keep my boobs honest
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