your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
Skipped a towel and decided to spit the cum into his face. I now owe him new contacts.
Baconater + red wine = first meal of the day
Sorry I didn't wanna double team his sister. Having whiskey dick and watching you get laid didn't sound appealing
both the worst and best vomit ever... it was extra chunky and thick cause of the sausage... but it also tasted like delicious sausage... also cause of the sausage
I'm still seeing blue. who wrote on my bare nipple?
She is crazy, dude. She actually bit me on the gootch.
I'm about to sell my hamster for weed money I'll call you in a few
All you need to do now is invest in a Speedo and start going door to door.
Oh hey. I left my beer there. Beer is more important than my pride. I want to pick that up.
I just gave my mom some ones that look like they've probably been in some strippers cooter. Oops.
Haha. Just tell your mom not to smell them
Hey mom, most of this money I'm giving you is in ones. Don't ask why and whatever you do don't smell them.
Sounds legit to me.
It'll be a pair of asscheeks that light up when they're summoned.
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
so i went to the bathroom and my thong was on sideways... i guess that solves the mystery
Randomize
