he quoted Bring It On. It's over.
Im drinking a beer thats called vuuve which is boobs in begian. I think my life is complete.
Does it really count as two different guys if they're brothers? I like to think of it as one and a half.
i cant get the smell of ass out of my nose
It was like some kind of slut recycling operation. She gave me the shirt of the last guy she slept with in exchabge for mine so I didn't have to wear the same thing to work. She's been doing it for years
I'm crossing my legs while pooping. Taking a shit has never looked so proper.
Well Its not like I planned having my potato launcher explode and burn off my eyebrow and eye lashes.. I still have my right eyebrow can't u just be happy?
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
Wait, just ask him if can you can join in. You haven't lived until you've taken part in a threesome with your father...or so I've heard
It's twenty thirteen and the rando and I bonded over the fact that we're both stil using flip phones. Of course I fucked him in the bathroom. It was the obvious thing to do.
Did you know that if you chase vodka with cheap red wine it tastes exactly like college alcoholism?
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
Tell me why I woke up outside of our hotel room Wearing a cowboy hat and boots in Las Vegas.
MEG JUST LICKED A DRAIN PIPE. DAVE PUNCHED MATT IN THE THROAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN. I REPEAT. ALL BOUNDARIES ARE DOWN.
THREE MINUTES! THREE MINUTES PAST MIDNIGHT I STSRT HEARING CHRISTMAS MUSIC ON THE OVERHEAD PA SYSTEM!!!
Randomize
