Make me a promise>>> if you ever see the brats from that tv show NYC Prep walking around, you will trip them, and you wil throw drinks on them
it's not gay if you rub your penis between their butt cheeks and pretend they are tits
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
She was kinda tragic... like a puppy that runs into things. Cute but really stupid. So, yeah, I hit it.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
Did I send you an asleep facebook message about the upcoming football season titled 'BRILLIANT' at 4:45 this morning?
all I wanna do is swim in an Olympic sized pool of Gatorade and tylenol.
We enjoyed our moment of partial gayness together
Just heard the words 'Pussy Riot' on NPR...I almost crashed my car.
I'm just gonna eat nachos and wine fruit forever.
I'm about to take my 7th shot and I have to to go to dinner with my grandma in an half hour. What is my life.
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
Oh god theyre drunkenly throwing knifes now, definitely the best movie I've worked on
Just realized that I bailed on you guys yesterday just so I could get wendy's. it was worth it but still, sorry
He's stripped out of his boxers and is dancing and slapping his dick with string cheese...I don't know whether to call for help or take a video.
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