Driving out to Plano is like driving away from your twenties
Seriously. Doesn't matter if I went out last night, work is like crafts class w.a side of facebook
I just sneezed cum. He better have a damn good day at work.
His threats seemed pretty legit for a 6 year old
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
for breakfast I had vodka and flavor blasted goldfish. and I'm topless.
Can you explain to me the broken disco ball in my front yard?
Dude. Some drunk chick just put an Aussie hat on me and was screaming at me in German. Her friends had to drag her away. Point being, I now have a cool hat.
Watching the dude who probably knocked me up be all cute with his girlfriend on my couch. I am too nice, and I hate today.
Please tell me how I go from a guy with a coke problem to a cop. My own life doesn't even make sense to me anymore
So lets not base feelings on vagina tingles
Your vagina doesn't want to be violated with garnishes. I get it.
Look, when i woke up this morning, I had every intention of being a responsible twenty-five year old, cleaning up, making my budget, and filing my taxes. Its just I got siderailed by pot and downloading classic Disney songs, because fuck adulthood; everyone loves Disney.
It's has to do with my genitals. Don't ask.
I have done everything sexualally imaginable with that umpalumpa
Randomize
