i have the same doorman on the day shift as the guyi shacked with has on the night shift. he just laughed at me when i came home this AM. FML
These shoes are like walking on sunshine and labias. So soft and squishy
Oh btw, that was a wonderful blow job. You did a good job.
Duuuude. Everything is so brilliant right now. This frosting is freaking orgasmic.
It's vanilla, man. Accept no substitutes. There are so many t's in that word.
I'm really good at handling things like foreskin and speech impediments.
Come make me food. I feel like if I go in the kitchen I will just get Gin.. and pass out in there.
Real reason I can't work: it's Tuesday. I get stoned and watch buck Rodgers in Tuesday.
Jesus Christ you're perfect.
Yea no bueno and I only brought enough weed to last one night. And it was no Hanukah nug, it didn't last 8 days.
He kept asking for nudes so I sent him a picture another guys dick. He called me ruthless.
We have a little not a lot. We already rolled a blunt and named him Ron.
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
What have I told you about trying to use Jesus as your wingman?!
New rule: if you don't think racism exists, you don't get to put your penis inside me.
Dude, never piss off a hungover boss.
I was sleeping and woke up in the bathroom already puking like i slept walk. Perrrrrrfect.
Randomize
