in my opinion joe jonas is kinda pointless. hes just the pretty boy front runner.
im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
And we will make penis cookies and eat them suggestively
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
And then she banged "the first Italian rapper"
what is the protocol for being hungover enough to vomit in a potted plant during my botany lecture?
I have invented a new sport: freshman-watching. I'm sitting on our porch literally dying watching the freshmen run around trying to find parties
want to know what my life has come to? I just took a 45 min shower banging on the walls and making loud sex noises so my neighbors think I get some.
He's holding a pee stick. Yes it's weird.
You just said you hate yourself then sent me a picture of your friend's penis. Clearly this is a night of honesty.
Stop it. You know what r&b does to my body
He sent me a dick pic. I am fighting the urge to send him a "sorry for your loss" card.
Drunk me says 72 hours of Mexican Viagra and room service.Sober me says we stopped being lovers for a reason after the last lost weekend.
Just found a handle of Tito's in my TV stand
Can't recall when I put that there, but let's goooo
My Hitachi broke 1 day into this stay home bullshit.
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