i'm watching degrassi (go figure) and the episode is about jimmy not being able to get a boner and now he's famous and rapping about popping pussies..i dont get it.
I meant the "stage" gay, Not the "bend me over and call me Gary" gay.
I accidently shit my pants. So I tried to throw my underwear in their lake, but they floated. So in the middle of the night, I got into the paddle boat and had to throw a rock on top of them so they would sink. Next time, I just won't shit myself.
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
just saw a guy driving a atv down the highway in a tux.... only in Iowa...
we managed to turn Dream Phone into a drinking game. don't hate.
I would like to apologize for asking to take advantage of you, wishing you a horny Hanukkah and whatever "abd ethw prnym to mzbe yur penis cna be friends" means.
got delayed, meet you at the bar soon, found a shopping cart, i am now getting pushed to the bar by some guy that was peeing in the alley i found the cart in
We are winners. And by winners I mean home wrecking sluts
Isn't that what our 20s r for?? Testing the strength of other people's shitty relationships?
I gave him 3 xanax and recorded the ball drop. He's gonna think tonight is New Years.
I told my mom about how you got white girl wasted and sobbed about Whitney Houston. She sends her condolences.
tell her thanks so much
We have six bottles of wine and we are at target buying baby oil to grease up the sleds with, just in case you're interested.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
This kid wants me to stop partying. Like I have only known you for 5 days. Chill.
Randomize
