The vibrating part of my dildo broke, now I have to rely on gyration.
I'm lost and stupid without you.
just saw a prosititute with a baby stroller...question is...if the baby wakes up is the blow job free?
I just told her she was a heartbeat above a blowup doll.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
Being a girl sucks.
Being a boyfriend sucks for about a week, too
do you think women who transgender themselves have the option of getting a circumcised or an uncircumcised dick?
I don't know if it's the amount i drank last night or the number of taylor swift statuses on facebook but i feel like puking everywhere
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
So I was trying to finish off that sick uv whipped and I chased it with yogurt. Not a good idea
I know of an excellent nanny. A lot like Mary Poppins but way cooler. And likes pot.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
i have two papers due tomorrow. contemplating if i should take adderall in my anus for full effects
Okay everything with a penis is officially dead in my eyes
Randomize
