fix you gags fore go to garrits please? !!!!!!!
What does that mean?
How when the cu k dos I yet u
Focus
pretty sure i had my hand down BOTH their pants at the same time at some point...
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
The only way I could have failed my exam worse is if there would have been a drug test portion
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
she was talking at me constantly for like 20mins. i kept praying for a brain hernia but it kept not happening...
No fireworks. Throwing the old microwave off the deck.
You just kept holding your breath for a really long time and calling it lung excersizes.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I can't be 100% sure of this but I think tonight was the first time I told a middle aged woman holding a baby to go fuck herself
MAYDAY. glass in foot, have crush on guy with mullet.life is over.
Can you work for me at 4? We might have just taken some drugs we found in the couch and... end of story
What's the point of bringing a Jack and Coke to work if my boss is just gonna piss and moan about me day drinking again?
Dinner at 5, shrooms at 10.
Sorry your girlfriend got you a valentines present and you forgot to get her one.
How long will your dick be dry?
Randomize
