i'm telling everyone you had sex with a puerto rican drug lord
Its Shannon Doherty lazy not Forest Whittaker lazy
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
i realized boys travel in groups of 3's and girls travel in 4's..thats why it gets so tricky
like hot dogs and buns.
How long is it safe to eat only Hot Pockets and Popsicles?
the pic of her and her boyfriend fell off the wall as we were fucking.
Boxed wine mondays was one of our finer ideas
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
I would fuck him In a heartbeat, an obese child running up stairs with an irregular heartbeat, heartbeat.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
my balls were so many shades of blue last night I could have used them as paint and replicated the entirety of Picaso's blue period. The girl was an art major I feel like this metaphor is appropriate.
I had to dig my own trench to puke in at the resort. That much fun.
I have a to do list for the summer and thing one is figuring out my sexual orientation
She tried deep frying a banana by placing one, unpeeled, into a toaster.
So as you were leaving, you leaned on the table too much and 3 glasses slid and fell to the floor. You then looked at me and said "To be honest, glass isnt that expensive anyways" and stumbled out of the bar.
Randomize