Well I thought I'd be nice but yeah I'm not a fan of you either you're an arrogant stupid cocky unfunny loser. Don't talk to me you're crazy
Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Then all the boys were saying that they were amazed at how much i could smoke...i'm so proud of myself
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
you spent 5 minutes trying to open an empty PBR and kept saying "don't worry i'll get it i've been working out"
Either I'm a lot drunker than I thought, or he has three dicks....
I think I'm gonna have to go with the first one...
should my break up email to my English professor be in MLA format?
As she was leaving she said "You have an awesome penis, I hope to use it again soon" I need that on a business card to hand out at the bar
That's unfortunate. Distance can be a stoner's greatest enemy.
You make it sound like a battle for Middle Earth.
You threw an open can of pop at me while I was lying on the floor babbling and drooling about how I need to be alone forever, me and my leaking face.
I totally just stopped for a booty call on the way to my parents for easter....good friday is an understatement
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
in a last ditch attempt to make life awkward after i die today i want to be buried naked and have an open casket funeral.
Only you would try street racing in a Volvo.
Randomize
