I swallowed your vile semen and you don't know what color my fucking eyes are!?
i get tired of guys telling me there married or they have a girlfriend. they act like it concerns or matters to me
sometimes i think what itd be like to be a firework
Let me start this apology by saying I'm sorry that I bit your penis.
you can think of my virginity as your little souveneir from our relationship.
The bar has bullet holes in the ceiling, and the country singer had been playing drunken weezer covers. A man just bought me a beer on the grounds that I 'have his back' in a fist fight with a stranger texan. And, yes, the bartender is wearing a sherif's badge
So hungover. I'm getting too old for trolloping around in disco shorts going shot for shot with well behaved underclassmen in an effort to lure them to the dark side of alcoholism and liver failure.
I bought something for you today. You'll love it.
What is it? Drugs?
I miss you, too. It's hard to sleep without anything licking my head.
For our 1st date, he tried to schedule a rock climbing. I suggested, "how about we meet at my place and you can scale Mt. Vagina?"
My mom told me to get it out of my system now bc once I hit 30 it's not acceptable to get "white girl wasted".
He totally sucks at sexting. He sent me a clothed shot of his ass captioned "I know this gets you going." What?
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
I'm literally the definition of crunk, sunburnt, and dehydrated. I'm going to die tomorrow.
Dude. I just got a visual of u climbing over a bathroom stall to save my life.
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