Hey look on the bright side if youre preg at least you know it and wont have it in a toilet
she then came into the room and yelled I'M GOING TO BE A COCK BLOCK for 5 minutes
Your sister got a Brazilian yesterday. It looks great
ya i found him eventually. hes the only one who drinks guiness so I just had to follow the darkest green puke trail
someone should tell her that easter eggs aren't meant to be dildos.
We uncovered another pile of vomit after you left. And i am not talking about the one in the vase
We invented "Diesel Bombs." They're supposed to be a bomb, but they come in a 20+ oz. glass and have a blackout record of 6 wins and 0 losses. Undoubtedly going to be the next Muhammed Ali of the drinking world.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
Im going to make a sandwich and see if my books came from amazon. I cant believe two years ago i was dating eight guys and teaching russian exchange students how to do shots.
I pulled out moves I did not even know I possessed, our fucking de-throned gods
Safe to say we should stock up on nipple bandaids ladies
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
i think ive been high everyday since ive met you
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Moms passed out wet and naked in a rocking chair again....
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