All I'm saying, is that being compared to a Muppet is not the end of the world.
Dibs on passing out in front of the toilet.
He's like the fucking Houdini of bras. Not only did I not feel him take it off I didn't find it until two days later.
last night i found out that about 5 of my friends audio recorded us having sex through the bedroom door, then auto tuned it in the tpain app on his iphone.
We aren't going to mix hockey and sex texts tonight.
I totally agree. all sexting is on hold till after the games over.
Playoffs. This shit is serious.
As your boss, I feel obligated to tell you that turning our management meeting into a kegger may just be the best idea you've given me yet.
Her boyfriend was wrestling another girl. But, she said she was okay with it because she kept checking for boners--w the back of her hand like she was checking for a fever
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I may not have eyeballs after all the drunk naked people having sex outside.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
I almost don't wanna have sex with her because I'm afraid she'll steal my hat
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
congratulations on joining the accidental bisexual club
you know it was a good night when you wake up with a medal around your neck
I need to go to St. Louis more often. The brides sorority sisters were practically fighting over me once they heard I work on Wall St.
Randomize
