I tried to gradually lead her into my room but she wouldn't stop crying and quoting memoirs of a geisha
just used a blowie as payment for him having to take the dog out to let her poop.
Just got a script for 120 vicodin with 6 refills. I feel like michael jackson.
I could make treat bags
forced to watch US open for father's day. only perk is discovering dustin johnson...reeeeally hoping that this golf sex addiction thing is contagious
Found out why they call her Halfpipe Jenny-NOT the cool reason we thought
dont call me baby and dont touch my ears. ITS ALL I ASK
He said he only likes girls with a sense of humor, after he took his pants off I understood why
I'm not surprised. You have the libido of an Italian soccer team.
He offered to teach me how hula hoop in exchange for acid. I took him up on it.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Some girl came up to us crying that she lost her phone and you said "if it's meant to be, let it be"
And you are going to be so turned on by my batman skills later
There's hope in those eyes, for a better tomorrow or more cocaine, we may never know, but there's hope.
He went down on me for like 30 min and honestly half the time I thought about those videos where people can smash watermelons with their legs and I just wanted to do that to his skull
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
