don't get me wrong, i like my boss a lot, but not enough to not bang his daughter
70 feet underwater and I sharted my wetsuit, Tide pen won't clean this up.
The only reason I kept his number in my phone for so long is so that hed pay for my abortion.
well at least you didnt have sex with him. i feel like a proud mother. you always have sex with them.
Uh no. you let me handle it. trust me: I can paint the Mona Lisa in tints of bitch.
Bro, the freshmen are smoking in the park again, do you need ammo for ur paintball gun?
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
Well. I have your keys. You have my car. Looks like we have a drunkxican standoff.
I just had a very enlightening conversation with my hat. we need more of whatever the fuck that was.
You were drunk enough to sled down a highway off ramp in your pajamas….
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Sex and compliments. The way to my heart
Mike fell asleep with his hand down my pants. I'm clearly an enticing person.
hurry up. it's a friday night and i'm drinking in my office by myself. wearing a stewie griffin costume. the cleaning lady is judging me.
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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