I'd do that. But we would need storm trooper helmets.
what made it akward was his girlfriends dog watching us have sex
Her boobs more than make up for all the flaws with her personality.
Great News, you CAN smoke bowls with a magnifying glass
thought i was the most hungover person in class until i saw a kid puke into his bookbag...he wins
i think that dennys waitress has my boxers
It smells like someone died in our apartment and ya'll used some random orifice of his body to smoke weed out of. Side note, how did we get a guitar?
I told him he was a man of science and that he should conduct experiments on my tits to see how they stay up. I need you to hold onto my larynx when I'm drunk.
Brandon just showed up at my place with a florida state cheerleader he met in vegas durin spring break. His life is a fucking movie
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
I want a shirt that says, "I'm sorry for the things I said when it was Taco Tuesday"
How do I send someone an apology text for giving them a lap dance in the middle of a party last night?
If one more person says Merry Christmas to me I’m going to take a pen out of my pocketbook and stab them in the eye
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
did he think i wouldnt notice the naked girl in the backseat
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