Actually, all he talks about is how great the sex is with her and how crappy you were at it. Stop being a bitch and gossiping masking it as self-righteousness.
but what if he tries to talk dirty to me with the lisp?
u know what's depressing? a picture of an owl without a graduation cap
You know i think she's just using me for sex
I hate you.
Ive been home for 20 minutes and I'm already in bed with a vodka tonic
I got him a footlong to apologize for trying to push him off a balcony...
Somehow "stranger danger" turned into making out with a 25 year old on burbon street.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Due to the events of st patties day last year I created a moral and ethical policy so that I won't get kicked out of the bar again. It mostly consists of not wearing pants so then I don't take them off at the bar.. and subsequently get kicked out.
Sorry, they don't make maternity Power Ranger suits...
She wanted me to watch her masterbate and after she thanked me for a wonderful evening and left. This state is weird.
I just want to be covered in whipped cream and spanked, is that too much to ask?
the next thing I knew, I was on the floor of a Tim Hortons bathroom in Canada.
My mom added me on Snapchat which means I am officially done with Snapchat.
Randomize
