Well all I remember is going to sleep being big spoon to you and waking up being little spoon to *****
Ps there is totally a drug addled prostitute in olympic pizza asking for change for a 100 bill
the cure to his relationship is in or around my vagina.
its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
Someday you'll be stoned enough to create a one-person step team and then you'll understand
The party got busted because you two got caught having sex on the neighbors trampoline, come on man.
I just don't do feelings in the summer months.
I mean it's like...I'm sorry I slept with your boyfriend but is it my fault that he failed to mention you when I was giving him head in the Dave and Busters bathroom?
There is so much wrong with that sentence
Yeah there really shouldn't be a bar at D&B's...shit gets real
And then my hands went numb and no one believed me so I started putting peoples cigarettes out on them. Shitty idea i'll tell you that much
There are many penises to be discovered and claimed tonight
We're like Lewis and Clark
she's a drunken disney princess. so basically me if i had a crown and no desire for independence.
I DONT HAVE THE SOCIAL SKILLS TO EXPLAIN THAT YOU DIED EATING MY PUSSY
I'm going to confession for the first time in 6 years. Where do I start, the gay sex or rampant alcoholism?
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize
