Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
college drinking is stealing all my money, thank god planned parenthood is somewhat free
it was a sick party until you insisted on putting on "that's how I beat shaq"
its amazing how hard it is to tell vomit from stuffing the day after
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
says the girl that drank her shots like they were in a dog bowl
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Currently getting "blaow" buzzed into my pubes. How's your thursday?
Dude, he threw a pool chair off of an 8 story building. It was a successful night I'd say.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
I'm gonna die. First I'm gonna throw up. But then I'm gonna die.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
I don't care that he's really strong. I need him to make me cum not fix my back problems
Noooo no no no no. She scares me. She means business. She wore a diaper when we went to the bar.
He literally shouted this Viking war cry when he cam. Then as we laid there he sang me the most beautiful rendition of " When Irish Eyes are Smiling". I've never been more confused.
Randomize
