Don't feel obligated to get back to me but I think I just fell in love with a middle aged waitress at the Dennys in waco. She's used but in good condition.
He kept asking me to take off my bra and I sat up so he could. He fumbled with it for a few minutes and when I sighed and went to undo it he goes, "Yeah, you got this."
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
I'm going to take the bottles back.. And maybe get an x-ray
Theres a baby at this concert double fisting pacifiers. shes gunna do great in college.
Don't make me out to be the bad guy. You practically MADE me cum on your food.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
like when he blacked out and we found him in the garden eating your tomatoes off the vine
The beer-amid has reached five feet. Caitlyn has a taser. GTG
ATTENTION ALL CONTESTANTS OF SLUTFEST 2012 ; not only will we be judging on how many penis you have sucked but also girth and length will be calculated. If you are found lying you will be disqualified. Remember your fellow participants will be rendering the same services to probably the same people. So choose wisely and let the games begin!
Is it bad if one of my goals right now is to snort blow through a licorice?
Don't answer that. It is bad.
almost dropped my phone in the toilet but it somehow bounced off my tit and landed on the floor. Boobs: saving me hundreds of dollars in bar tabs and smartphones since '09
I swear to god if you settle for a trump supporting packers fan, I will not acknowledge your children. You're better than that.
i guess "never drinking again" is not an option when you invent a whole new level of drunk...
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Randomize
