Hi, this is ****, we hooked up a few weeks ago. I was wondering, do you have any STDs?
I thought he was gonna sex me but then he ran to my bathroom and jerked off
Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
We have nothing in common but the sex rocks, would it be awful to develop a drug habit just to have a topic of conversation?
Reason #57 I am going to fail the bar... it's Tuesday and i'm drunk at Toy Story 3.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
It's nice to see a girl prepared for the walk of shame. She brought headphones
Lets think Pancakes and sausages into existence
my night stand is a mini fridge, dont even try to get on my level of laziness.
How was my night? He had a picture of his mom on his night stand and he yelled "Papi like" when he came. Fuck tequila.
He is such a generous lover, I can look past the fact his name is fucking Bob.
My favorite bra is missing and I smell like beer and bad decisions. This is definitely a sign that hoe mode is activated.
So after we found out he wasnt throwing up blood in was just hawaiian punch and we all failed breathalyzers the cop drove us around like a taxi and brought us back to the apartment
What the fuck dude? Now it's a "who is this?" convo going back and forth. Like... helllloooo you just sent me a picture of your penis! I'm entitled to ask who the fuck it is. I can't verify an identity by a body part.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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