I only kidnapped one of them. chill
Whatcha textin bout Willis?
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
Is it wrong that im more embaressed about the karoke than the toplessness?
just bought 2000 rhinestones and a heart shaped stencil at Micheals...I think the cashier knows i'm Vajazzling
You kept saying thank you to the automatic toilet as it flushed your puke.
Agreed. And i highly doubt it could be awkward. You do remember our introduction was a direct result of you mentioning your affinity for my genitals, right?
We did it in the bathroom in Taco Bell. We didn't buy anything before we left, which I thought was rude.
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
everything in the house taste like gin even the water, friday nite was a success
she opened a can of olives, drained the juice and poured ranch dressing in. oh and 'croutons' (saltines) on top...
My brother and I have had one conversation in the past like 3 weeks and it was about what it would be like as a sentient butt plug
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
She is still drunk from the night before, sitting here eating KFC mashed potatoes and drinking Arbor Mist before Anatomy lab.
WHY ARE THE COPS ALWAYS AT DENNYS WHEN IMDRUNK!?
Randomize