i can barely afford taco bell don't think a baby is in the budget
he somehow instantly knew i was from vermont.
it probably had something to do with chasing your soco with maply syrup.
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
how the fuck is Katelyn 5'1" and 85 lbs and she tackled a bouncer to the ground?
You may see me wearing your shirt to class. It's because I still have the spins and I'm anticipating throwing up on it. Asshole.
i just looked in the mirror i look like i'm about to film a PSA about prostitution
I honestly feel really bad for any girl with a period that lasts more than a day
Everything about that text makes me want to throttle you and cry
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
you fail at everything in life besides blacking out
I gave him head during Pitch Perfect 2, I felt like the Bella's were cheering me on with their back up tunes
I just ate apple sauce in my underwear. This isn't 30. This is 3.
How do I tell this guy that if he does not like the condoms at my apartment, he should bring his own without sounding like a sure thing?
Say it's BYOC night at the beach. And, you are a sure thing. Own it.
Holy. Shit. I just remembered all the lapdances....
just took a pregnancy test before I went out drinking. if that's not drinking responsibly Idk what is.
that's the second time my extensive knowledge of taylor swift has gotten me laid
Randomize
