I sent you an email today but due to work restrictions, I had to misspell choke sex
Decided to write a book called "girls don't poop and other myths I wish I still believed in"
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
they were just spraying pledge on themselves and calling it lemon cologne.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
Just because I tried to backhand you with a fist full of cash does not make me violent
I'm with Tony. He said he volunteers his ball sack for waxing but you will have to wait a few weeks. It is a freshly shaved sack. I guess he thought he was gonna get lucky. Wtf?
Smooth sack
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
I just had a fifteen minute conversation with a Raccoon by the garbage bin. I was feeding it chex mix.
He snapchatted me the wine on the ceiling this morning
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
If there aren't any tits where you are, you're doing it wrong.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
YOU JUST GOT OUT OF THE HOSPITAL AND YOU'RE ALREADY DRINKING?!
You better have a raging boner when I get to your house and it better be worth missing work in the morning.
Randomize
