Michael Jackson had a heart attack when he found out boyz to men was a music group not a delivery service.
There's a vagina buried somewhere in there.
my grandma was just praying before dinner, and before she could finish my gpa lifted his glass and said 'and here's to avatar!'
i need to find a birthday card for her that tells her how happy i am that i can now legally bang her
you handed me your bra at the bar and said 'hold my purse'
Now that Steinbrenner is in heaven he's going to make Jesus cut his hair
I just remembered you had me meet your law professor while I was wasted...how'd that go?
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
there's a photo set of like seven dicks covered in glitter....i don't know what to do
I've never wanted to punch a 94 year old woman in the vagina, and then call her next of kin to tell them I just muff punched their Gam Gam until today.
Just told some little girl not to judge me as I brushed my teeth in the target bathroom
She invited me to Bikini Yoga with her friends. Sounds promising.
BABE I MISS YOU SO MUCH LIKE THE SADNESS OVERWHELMS BONER ABILITY
I know I'm not a hook-up kind of chick but he is a firefighter & an EMS worker. I felt like maybe I'd be a good person if I let a good person inside of me
Dude, I danced with Abe Lincoln! How could last night have been any better???
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