remember that time i ran away from the bar and passed out in a street cot?
neither do i
I just heard a mom tell her toddler son "shut the fuck up. Don't ask me to buy you shit when i'm taking u to go see some fucking animals" welcome to the bronx.
at a party and just made O-H-I-O out of dicks and vajayjays...i hope someone took a pic i was too busy (; GO BUCKS!!!
next time the cops show up in riot gear we should probably leave
and miss being on the news....no way
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
Aw lol. Sounds like my masturbation injury last year
Lube is flammable
Who is this??
I vaguely remember stopping for a bag of bugles and some lube and then I woke up this morning with melted chocolate on my hands. I think I love him
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
I think my nap took me to another dimension
well I've taken an Uber to my weed dealers twice in the past 2 weeks so it's going well since I sold my car
Mid-fucking he screams "YOU CAN'T VOTE FOR TRUMP"
He usually doesnt care about me cumming but last night he really tried, I feel that him going to the Womens March benefitted my sex life
Apparently I thought every drink in my house needed to have a buddy so I put some vodka in each one. Long story short being wasted at work because the gatorade you brought is 60% liqour is not a great idea.
Hahaha wearing a fake moustache in public was the best idea i ever had
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