At Coney Island the sign for the rollercoaster The Cyclone says, "Make sure your glasses and weave are secure."
I have so many mobile devices now, I only use my laptop for porn.
I love how girls just decide that guys who don't like them must be gay
I do the same thing. If a girl doesn't like me...I am like, "i must be gay"
she wrote "need hug!" on a sticky note, put it on her back, and passed out on his bed. they're trying to figure out how she got into his room...
Held my professor's hair back while she was puking. I'd better get an A out of this or else the pics are going on Facebook.
Received a verbal warning at work for "riding in a trash receptacle, violating professionalism & infection control."
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
Some lady old enough to be our mom took us home, made me eggs and he still got some. Where do I claim my best wingman/sister trophy?
Next time she asks for a ride to her "cousins" house and it turns out to be a booty call we're charging her for each mile.
I asked him why he was eating an entire can of refried beans, the only answer I got was "revenge"
I'm sure we could go all project runway on our diapers and create some flattering absorbent thongs. We could do it on the Boat. Call it project rumway.
My sheer presence has sent the hipsters running in terror. I expect no problems.
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
its not everyday you see batman on the ground with someone riverdancing on his face bourbon street never disappoints
I have a corndog on my dresser and a trashcan of puke. Thanks for a great night!
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