Ok let me ask a question, does aderall make women less apt to have sex?
Cause it just destroys penises
Was that inappropriate? I can't gauge these things anymore
why am i having a flashback about somewhere we were this weekend with music videos playing? Spike jonze brothers place?? Help me out
Well, for starters you dressed up in all Green and kept singing that song from "A Goofy Movie". Then you made us call you Powerline for the rest of the night...needless to say no, you didn't hook up with her
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
the general consensus of people in the room is that i should have another bottle of wine.
"people in the room" being me.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
Umm, ya, half our class is sitting in starbucks passing around flasks. Yes, flasks. Plural. Going to join them, we're all giving oral presentations in 20. Go hard or go home.
Why is there broken glass in my purse?
You stole a snow globe. From your VP. Soooo...maybe don't put all your hopes on that promotion you were expecting
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Dude. That Grinch had his priorities right when he was worried that there might be a cash bar at that town celebration.
As you passed out you started to cry and say "Mufasa" over and over again making everyone else cry.
Holy shit my cat won't leave the lube alone
He gets married Father's Day weekend and I just found out I'm pregnant. What do I do?
You're the air beneath my wings and the lookout when I pee
I’m drunk and naked and looking for my charger - title of my autobiography.
Randomize
