we were exchanging secrets last night... she told me about how she put markers in her vaj in middle school. found a keeper.
Ramen noodles and uncensored jerry springer episodes, what a nice life i have.
Jizz is so healthy, they should sell it at Jamba Juice. Call it "Jamba's Juice". Genius.
at the bar. watching boys pee in urinals. when they come out we give them a thumbs up or a thumbs down. probbb shouldn't prop the bathroom door open with a bar stool....
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
My mom's 50 year old alcoholic friend just told me about how she was more whoreish then us at our age. Challenge accepted.
Seriously... Things should be way more awkward... The entire female half of the bridal party INCLUDING THE BRIDE blew me in high school....
UPDATE: lighting the grill with Bacardi. Haven't slept. Forgot the hamburger buns. Almost out of our eighth handle.
He was trying to be aggressive in bed, but in reality, it was like watching a declawed cat try to climb a curtain. They WANT it, they just can't DO it.
Between the walk of shame, bar fight, karaoke, injuries, number of bar check-ins, and variety/quantity of alcohols and Advil consumed, I'd say HookerFest 2012 was a raging success.
I really want to throw this drink in your face but it was 6 dollars that shits expensive
We looked in every room for condoms... It was the sexiest scavenger hunt ever.
Like, she can be the shepard of the gays. Delivering him unto homosexuality.
There was a slutty maid costume on the floor when I woke up, but the house was trashed. Either she's been fired or got promoted, I'm not sure which.
It's the never-ending clusterfuck that is my love life
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