:( I'm sorry!!!
sexual favors sorry?
absolutely not
is it bad if my mug shot looks better than my profile picture?
i havent had this much fun since the last time i farted and it created a boner.
So i just found out i replied to my room mates craigslist ad. Akward
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
It was like she tried to cover up all the weight she gained with a fake tan...
the amount of times i have wished for a boxed wine emoticon is almost alarming. almosttt
currently shading my boobs to make it look like i have mass cleavage...thanks art school
You were fucking on a porch at a party, not much privacy should be expected
The polaroid of me taking a test-tube of Jegar out of the gay guys mouth pretty much explains my trip to Spain.
Stuck in the Minneapolis airport for 3 hours with an expense budget and a wine bar. This could get out of hand quickly.
In other news, I just sent her a video of me masturbating while driving in the rain, so I guess you could say I've mastered Snapchat
I'm trying to find a place to hide weed in my mother in law's house...
Married life problems?
Cum just came out of my nose. That is all.
I woke up with a jacket; in it passport, hockey tickets, sunglasses, credit card, bank transactions
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