ok this guy next to me just sat down with a no joke, 10,000 page book, popped an addy, cracked open a red bull and opened the book to page 1.
She was ugly to the point i wanted to brush my teeth after looking at her
just wokeup with my ethics textbook on my chest, animal crakers in my mouth and my dick in my hand. even aristotle doesn't have a theory for this one
I'm inventing beer flavored vodka. This raspberry shit makes me feel like a pussy.
i'm trying to figure out what goes best with beef ramen. a 2007 merlot or a 2008 pinot noir? i'm leaning toward the pinot noir.
I'll probably just lay on my couch bra-less sipping wine out of a straw so I don't have to lift my head.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
Dude when the cops came you ran through the fence. Fucking THROUGH it. You're a master ditcher.
Fell asleep naked on the recliner spooning with my organic chemistry book. The fact that I made it through four years of college is proof that the education system is fucked.
Actually going to jail after your wedding is NOT part of the plan.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
My idiot ex texted me on Valentine's day to tell me I was right, he did need a therapist.
I got poked in the eye with a penis last night. How's your day?
I also woke up in a bed soaked of pee and drunkenly lectured him on the dangers of chewing tobacco... weird night
He makes bad life choices and drives a wagon, how is that not my type?
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