Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
your all-time low pick up line was when you asked a girl "Are you rock-staring at me?"
I love how all the girls on the plan b commercial wake up alone.. Like me
I realized courtney is my jiminy cricket but instead of preventing me from telling lies she prevents me from fucking strangers
im stripping for him via video chat, but the sound is turned off cause his students are taking a test
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Taking shots out of pine wood derby trophiesssssss. best idea ever.
I'm laying outside on my patio attempting to get sun with a puke bucket next to me... This is dedication to the tan my friend
Steve just broke his bong and some kid in an american flag bathing suit and no shirt just fell down the stairs. Its dangerous here
I just want to smoke this blunt and eat pizza rolls while watching The Price Is Right with you.
Little does she know that you've out-sourced your conscience to a girl who doesn't even wear pants on a regular basis
Let's just say, I'm pretty sure you're banned from Skype.... like, forever.
It was platonic naked porno viewing, I swear.
St. Patty's shenanigans tmrw? I wanna meet dudes lol. Why stop at coronavirus when you can get the clap, too?
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