apparently went to arby's at 2:30am banging on the windows for someone to make me a "beefy"
The plus side of allergy season is that after our weekend coke binge my runny nose fits right in.
I had her number in my wallet, I was sitting on a winning ticket for the blowjob lottery and didn't know
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
We stayed up until 4:20 AM. The next thing I remember was waking up at 4 PM, like my internal alarm clock knew.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
I'm trying to poop and took acid, this is going to end horrid or wonderful. Oh the amusement park, not the pooping.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
No other way to put this but the dick was not worth him crying for an hour after. No more online hookups.
I got to my internship late... with a bag of chipotle and sex hair.
Reminding you of hookups your brain is trying to suppress. That's what friends are fooooooooor...
You look wasted in ALL of the pictures I just saw you in.
That can't be good for your liver!
Thanks for caring mom.
The waxing lady fingered me during my brazilian. 40 dollars well spent
You'll be pleased to know I just had an elaborate day dream about your penis. you were there too.
Rationing the toilet paper. Only one wipe allowed. I'm scared to move too much.
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