its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just don't lie down.. Throwing up upwards is NOT cute the second time.
How did the whale quest end up? I saw u hit a little snag when the first one heard you call her that.
I just had cybersex with some guy from the Netherlands for 2 HOURS instead of doing my History project...how's your break going?
I gave up yolo and cigarettes for lent. I owe god a sincere apology.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
Like, he's a nice guy. But he's better at fingering than he is at speaking.
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I offered him midol and told him "it always helps my period so maybe it'll help yours"
I just noticed that pic of your cock has a Christmas tree in the background. It's July.
In theory, it seemed like it would work.
He hit me up on Grindr and called me "bro." I just have to assume that the sex is going to be bad.
Unexpected pussy is the best kind. Never expected to get any from a stranger at my little brother's bar mitzvah.
Mazeltov!
just licked whipped cream off some model's nipple... just coming clean for when the pic gets on instagram because i am not untagging that shit
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