I know right? mind you this is the same woman who told me when I was 12 that oral sex just meant talking dirty
I didn't sleep with her. I'm boycotting arizona and she's from phoenix.
Just got Netflix. Dexter Marathon. Still in my PJ's. Only eaten cookie dough and drinking a 40. I have never reeked so strongly of lonely .
we went to get a refill in his room and ended up having sex and passing out. then he woke me up with sex and gave me a beer for breakfast. i never want this to end
Well, my nose won't stop bleeding from really bad cocaine and my purse is full of plastic gold coins. Also, someone saved in my phone as "tyrannosaurus sex" won't quit texting me. Savannah won. Let's put it that way.
He just asked me if I'd be interested in couples therapy. Fuck my life.
of course we have a beer bong
how else would we feed our christmas tree
We are keeping it ultra classy drinking 40s and playing croquet with 90s rap blasting in the back ground
hurry up this bar wont let me order big pitchers of beer for just myself
I'm shoveling snow with a camel-pack full of beer in a blizzard. I love snow days as an adult!!!
hell hath no fury like a questionably-gay best friend scorned
If fixing it is ignoring it, and getting naked. Then yes we fixed it.
Spent 38 bucks on dollar wells last night. I'm pretty sure my liver is staging a mutiny right now.
Well this guy just went into a detailed lecture about how rinos are developing into unicorns.. It's gonna be a good night.
Finally fucked my buddy's mom!! We are both ten years older and for her it really shows but i hit it!!
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