does he have a tent? the camping kind not the boner kind.
Oh i forgot. I hit on a mentally challenged girl too.
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
In a tragic sexting typo, I typed the word "blobjob". Now she's coming over and I have no idea what I'm in for...
It wouldn't have been a big thing. If anything, I woulda apologized to you and cleaned the remote
And THIS is why we get drunk. No good story, documentation, or event happens by eating a salad. Alcohol consumption leads to good things
You don't want to cheat on your husband, you just want to fuck someone who isn't him.
I'm gonna give the beer pong table a viking pyre funeral at the bon fire.
He lit a candle for the mood and ended up lighting my hair on fire while we were hooking up...moodkiller
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
I will not abuse the gift that was given to me
You were given a vagina and you abuse that pretty hard
I’ve officially bought the ticket for my future dick appointment 😂
honestly, fuck you guys. i'm gonna get drunk by myself
Randomize
