if there is a rhyme for it it must be true
Did you fuck her?
If by "fuck her" you mean "threw up on her shoes," then yes, I achieved that.
okay, this is the fifth time he asked if it was in yet. maybe i shouldn't have dated a blind guy.
Forever 21 now has a maternity line. Even more of an incentive for me to get pregnant at a young age.
she said my body looked tiny like it was a bad thing and then didn't even mention how great my tits look. it's like we're not even friends.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Pretty sure I scared him off for good. The lesbian in me is ecstatic.
It's a "nonproductive" (vocab word) cough. It's like a constant tickle in my throat, like there's a little elf with feathers for feet going Gangnam style on my "uvula" (vocab word).
Well I think I made it pretty obvious I wasn't in to it. I was drinking a beer while he was going down in me
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
Apparently I yelled "Spring Break 1984" at a drunk couple fighting on the side of the road.
In 2014 only three boys have seen my boobs so far
We're eating jello shots in the library. I love the day after Valentine's
After I asked for my 6th Gin & Tonic, the look on the flight attendant's face started to make me feel bad about myself.
Randomize
