You sent me a text calling me "cunt" while i was in the middle of dumping my bf.
So we're fucking tonight?
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
I saw him on the jumbotron, its like god doesnt want me to forget his tiny penis
I have an odd instinct I wont find my underwear tonight
remind me to get a blood sugar test this week. I'm pretty sure I'm a mojito away from diabetes.
I don't know how I got here... but I think I'm in a Christian Impact meeting... I'm trying to act as straight as possible. They can sense gay.
I got called a drunken housewife today in class. I'm proud, not many people can say they've achieved their life goals like I have by the time they turn 20
New rule: gentleman callers are required to bring me gifts of beer when coming over to court you. Tell the monster jam dudes so they know.
So the old dude that tried to fight me is definitely Katie's dad. And the pot cookie's kicking in. Shit is getting weird.
I just want you to know that I'm, like, 45% hard right now.
I'm taking myself to the hospital right now b/c there is no way this erection is subsiding in the next 4 hours.
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
I ACCIDENTALLY SUPER LIKED HIM. I JUST DELETED TINDER FROM MY PHONE.
I’m ready to be reckless and make stupid decisions, and I need you to support me in that.
last night you said that you wanted to hold my dick as you slept because it was like having a stuffed animal.
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