woke up and her hair clip was clamped around my shaft
no. i seriously look so gross with this sunburn. i wouldnt even wanna bang myself. and im really into myself.
turns out the guy i was dating because he was a cop was not actually a cop. i learned this as he got arrested by real cops.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
you were smoking 3 cigarettes at once saying 'cancer isn't real! Its all in your head!'
I swear I could audibly hear her vagina slam shut when you walked up to hit on her.
he asked me to hangout with him...and his son
Hey thanks again for rolling me that blunt necklace. It was amazing.
I can honestly say I've never had orange soda poured on my vagina before, that's a story for the grand kids
His IQ level must rival that of a comatosed aardvark.
Yeah, I only wore tennis shoes under the gown. Way cooler than khakis and a shirt, but much more awkward when my parents wanted to go to dinner immediately after the ceremony and my grandmother started to unzip the gown. Stopped her before it was too late, but barely. My dad just rolled his eyes.
Sorry I couldn't reference you in my facebook quote. I will redirect any likes and comments straight to my blowjob efforts this week.
So I deleted all the text from my phone, was looking for my mom's coffee order and show the coffee guy the pic of me eating pussy.
I don't think I'm gonna survive today. I don't remember how to walk. I must crawl 6 blocks to my bed.
So how was it?
The cemetery or the sex?
Randomize
