she left her pants. im pretty sure she grabbed mine on accident. im like 9 man sizes bigger than her. wtf
I found my laptop, credit card, and a bottle of Morgan all on the counter this morning. I'm scared to see what gets delivered to my house this week.
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
Xanax and allergy medicine look a lot alike when you spill them on the floor. Just saying that I still have allergies but I'm unsure if I still have legs
i'm calling it girls night to make myself feel better but lets be real.....i wasn't going to get any guys tonight regardless
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
We now know how the night ended in arrest according to the flip camera I did 10 handle pulls and beer bonged a 40. My life choices are getting worse and worse this is your fault.
NoShamevember. You game?
Def over. He sent me a nude selfie but cropped it right above his junk. Total Silence of the Fucking lambs looking.
He started yelling "you tha man!" while I was reverse cowgirl
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Is it okay to get drunk at a baby shower? ....asking for a friend
I'm shaking a cocktail while in bed. Is that bad?
MY LIFE IS A TRAINWRECK THATS ON FIRE BUT SOMEHOW STILL MOVING, I HAVE THE RIGHT TO SCREAM OUTSIDE AT 2AM
See and now you're talking. I am like the fairy godmother of hook ups.
Randomize
