I just had a dude tell me how he got fired from friendly's for tripping a kid and followed the story with "If i'm gonna do it, I do it big."
why didn't we just drop out of school years ago and become dominatrix bitches who beat men?
I don't know but we should still do that
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
Have you ever had one of those moments when you kept whispering to yourself "I'm not a slut, I'm not a slut..."?
Drinking vodka in the bathtub.... If I don't make it, I thank you for your magical parts
I can already see the regret in her eyes. Amazing night. This city rules.
Pretty sure that's a used tampon hanging from the tree outside my window.
I will blow you tomorrow if you bring me food tonight. Like a payment plan
The fuck-me-pumps were hot, the XL hoody kinda ruined it.
I may be bringing home two guys tonight. I'f they won't go for a double-team you can have the lanky one.
Was having relations of the behind variety with my girlfriend. Based on where we were at I could see myself in the bathroom mirror. You know I did the Patrick Bateman point and wink at the mirror and turned on sissudio by Phil Collins.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
And all i could do was bury the part of me that felt guilty for cradle robbing and put on my dick swallowing bib.
the last thing i heard from her was "i wanna get fucked by a stranger" and i haven't seen her since
i literally have the attention span of a weasel on steroids, but yeah, i know who you’re talking about.
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