if i died would you start the facebook group?
I gave them both handjobs at the same time. Felt like I was skiing
does drinking everclear count as brushing your teeth? because i think they are sterilized
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
Just gave some kid head in the library. Perfect way to end the semester.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You woke up, mumbled something about forgetting to lock the truck at work, slapped my ass, then passed out again...
I took did three shots of fireball and did and handstand. When I stood up some busty slut lead me my the hand down the hall into her dorm room.
But I'm sure your having and "a monumentally better time" repeating the 12th grade
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I'm crying watching Rihanna at the VMAs. Periods are a bitch
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
This is bullshit, I shit my pants for the 1st time in 30 years, stuck on the 405, fuck this shit.
Depends
She was cleaning herself at the bus stop. She also picked up gum off the ground and ate it
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
