Why are you such a perv today?
This is a lot to handle
Oh shh
I'm kidding you prude take a joke
you miss my big massive throbbing cock dont you?
Woah.
that's not how you spell hell yes.
so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
finally nailed that neighbor chick. hopefully i can get her wireless password now. free internet trumps moral standards any day
he made transformer sounds every time he changed positions. how do you think it went?
And then she said "sorry if my vagina smells like fish, it's just active."
he asked me if i would dance for him to make it easier for him to jack off. does that answer your question.
Homecoming wouldn't be the same without all the drunk old people puking on the street.
Downside to Halloween: you can't tell if the guy dressed as Gene Simmons from KISS that keeps flirting with you is hot or not...I decided to err on the side of caution and assume not...
There should be an open time period where you show each other your goods and it's totally socially acceptable to bail.
I wholeheartedly concur
Please don't try and hook up with one of your high school teacher's friends
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
That awkward moment when you hear your boss yelling during sex while you're on her couch eating Easy Mac.
"I'm 22, I could die in a piano bar." -a sentence i actually just said to my boss
Drunk me made cabbage burritos at 1am after going to hustler hollywood.\nI bought socks. Lol
Randomize
