Def gonna have stinky sex sometime soon. GOT TO! she has eligible friends for you, as well.
I found a pair of size 15 female undies on my floor?? is that big?
I told her we could go facebook official. If she ups the oral.
I just put lube in Matt's bellybutton. He looks unhappy.
He has until sunday, then my legs are officially closed to him
I'm still drunk. it's summer. I just need a hot dog and an aspirin.
Just wait til you visit, there will be an endless supply of fresh dick for your demand #economics
Ahh, 151. Think of it this way: it took one shot to get you buzzed, I took eight. I may or may not have broken a tv with my skull that night and met someone's parents naked and hungover the next morning.
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
Dude for real though, we gotta stop getting hammered and kissing gay guys.
Ted is on HBO in 20 minutes...not sure if this or the drunken dance party I had at the bar to a N*SYNC Christmas song 20 minutes ago is the highlight of my week so far.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
They don't really make a "hey I'm fucking your ex wife" card do they ?
Randomize
