Id pretty much put it in anything at this point. Jello. Dogs. 12 year old boys
Ya! She had a north face on tho so she was a classy hooker.
So he just rolled over in his sleep and said "that's a punctuation mark..."
coming out of a blackout being surrounded by Disney police was not as awesome as it sounds.
we should hire that guy that makes pancakes that we met last weekend for our next party. He can feed us, and regulate!
Her roommate texted her and told her that her cat died. Now she's double-fisting bottles of wine while howling and wailing her dead cat's name. Not how I pictured this booty call.
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
Since he's sober and out of jail, he acts like we are the worst people on Earth. Fuck him, the only acceptable time in life to do coke is the early twenties. He won't take that from us.
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Nothing like waking up naked and alone on your floor to remind you that you make life mistakes often.
I spent a lot of time in their kitchen cause I was convinced that the living room was gonna fall... Sorry for not warning you about that.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
Did you put Adderal in the fishtank in the lobby? The fish are acting like Olympic sprinters. Asshole.
last night we watched this really loud chick try and pick up this smoking french guy who's english was sooo bad. she finally pointed at her beer and then her vagine
gross
like you've never done an interperative dance for sex, please
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
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