I need to hang out with girls who make more mistakes
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
I'm reciting my presentation (beer in hand) on the porch to a snowmen audience.
This dude was wearing a "Plan B- One Step" backpack. I wonder how many more I have to buy until I get mine??
I wish I could rewind to my 8th birthday instead. I wanna wake up, eat as much cake as I want, and have a Transformers birthday party without someone judging me.
whatever. i don't care. i just want to be drunk wrapped in an american flag.
I came in your room, you looked at me and said "I fucked up" and then some kid showed up and took you to the hospital
I just very easily got pretty high off of one bowl of shitty dirt weed. I'm a sad excuse for who I used to be.
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
True. So did you hook up with pasta or the ultimate warrior
Little bit of both
You didn't try to help me when I fell on the dance floor. She brought me cupcakes. You're a shitty friend, suck your own dick.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
You drank the pool water to get rid of your hiccups
I’m vetoing meatball margaritas right out the gate. We can’t have people throwing up again!
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
Randomize
