if this week's events in iraq have taught me anything, it's that when pulling out, always expect a mess...
I'm worried someone is gonna take a black light to my work computer. But the connection is faster here.
Your mom can still drink beer standing on her head! Talk to you tomorrow :)
Mom wtf!?
hammered. By myself. Accident. Faillll. Snowwwwwy
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
This is going to be BYOBM Vegas trip: Bring Your Own Bail Money.
As far as drugs go, alcohol has all the elegance and precision of hitting yourself in the head with a hammer.
I'm going on a new diet. It's called the "eat healthy otherwise boys won't want to have sex with your fat ass" diet. Wish me luck.
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
Found my id. It was in the cats litter box. Seriously what was last night.
things I never thought I would say vol. 24 "Bagpipes just remind me that my relationship is over"
I totally almost forgot you fucked that guy. St. Patty's bar crawls always have a drawback.
Lesson learnt. Sex toy cleaning spray is not an acceptable substitute to clean your glasses with.
My dog misses eating marshmallows out of your butt when you're passed out. That bordered on sex abuse, now that I think about it. My bad.
home. only unpacked the necessities...contact case and beer.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
