She looks like Robin Williams dressed as a frog.
it's already thursday and i haven't gotten drunk yet...something's not right.
we usually just have an Easter beer hunt and never end up at church anyways
I was chocking and even did the sign for it..And you continued to just laugh
No I am not eating basil off your cock
Did the game of beer pong go wrong before or after the cops and fire department showed up?
4pm update. Theres smashed cake inside my duffel bag, a vodka bottle in the dish drainer, and the most productive thing ive done is make 40 pigs in a blanket
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
My dad just bought me a 40. I consider this our peace treaty.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
Im going to seductively wisper "that butters my biscuit" in your ear
I had to try on three different bathing suits to hide my boob hickies
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
We need to stop smoking. I just ran into a glass door.
Randomize
