i'm so bored i'm watching porn for fun. not even jacking off or anything. just watching.
We couldn't even have sex we were both laughing so hard. I don't know how I feel about the quality of that weed.
i'm sober ask me anything about the civil war
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
Finally buying a camera. Missed out on recording a 3way last night. Hindsight. Ugh.
You work today? I woke up with a raging boner that was whispering your name
I feel like it went downhill once I decided we should take $100 tequila shots.. oops lol
He also told me he would eat mozzarella sticks before having sex with me so I'm mad at him.
a homeless man let us know that my friend was asleep in the bushes outside my house on main street. So just a small get together.
I was just dry heaving outside of the Chem building when a guided tour walked by. Welcome to the Maritimes kids...
I would like to make it known to all of you that my penis is official retired, but it thanks you for the countless years of service you provided
I'm going to tell you something and I want no judgement because it's america day and I'm wearing an American flag bathing suit but...I woke up in a yard.
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
By the way, you're like fucking spiderman. I've never seen someone climb out of a car window that fast and eloquently.
Just found out a shooting happened in our parking lot while it was closed this morning. So thaaaaaaaaats fun.
Randomize
