I realized that I've made out with a different boy almost every time we've gone to mcgoreys....I don't need a boyfriend...I have that bar
Alcoholism comes in two forms... Us.
She sucked my dick while i watched james bond. And they say marriage sucks
I totally just found ecstasy floating around in the bottom of my purse, it's almost like good karma from the time I lost that blow...but not quite
just got home. some guy on my porch is tryin to show me his balls. no more parties at my apartment.
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
I can not be a lesbian living on Beaverland.
We were all day drunk by 2pm. Now I know why they hate Americans
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
He blacked out and wouldnt drink anything unless he funneled it, so I made him funnel water
I'm a hopeless romantic with the sex drive of a married politician. IM DOOMED.
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I love that you put so much thought and effort into your nudes
I don't send half assed nudes. Go big or go home.
Am I the only one who finds it completely appropriate to pre-game our Brazilians?
Randomize
